I’m Jen Freckman! I’m a homeschool mama of 4 kids! {3 bio and 1 adopted} I’ve been married to my rockstar husband, Eric, for years now. We met on a blind date and we dated long distance (without iphones!) until we were married!
I spend most of my days teaching and reading to our 4 kids. Our evenings are spent having a family dinner around the table and going off to Awana or hosting small group meetings in our home.
I love laughing, good coffee, warm hugs and trying to be more minimal; in schedule & stuff. I’m passionate about my Lord, family, homeschool and adoption. Oh, and reading. I love a good living book!!
My husband and I had always wanted to adopt. Even before we had kids we were Safe Family parents. Basically, we took in kids that needed a place to stay for a couple months. We loved, fed and cared for them until they returned home with their parent(s).
This gave us first hand experience with how hard life can be for some women. So, when we started the adoption process we knew we wanted to find a birth mom that we could come alongside and care for during her pregnancy.
"Knowing that whatever good anyone does,
this he will receive back from the Lord."
Ephesians 6:8
One thing was very important to us...we wanted her to know we loved HER unconditionally and would support her...even if she never placed her baby with us. That is why our relationship with Stephanie, our daughter’s birth mom (or Tummy Mommy, as we call her), is so special to us.
We have loved her from the very beginning! She’s pretty easy to love, I have to say!
I created this site as a way of connecting other adoptive/birth families together and to answer questions from readers.
I love to answer questions! Seriously, it’s what I do all day with 4 kids around! You could consider me an expert answerer! Just shoot me an email at: jen@purejoyadoption.com or follow me on Instagram @jenfreckman
"And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the Lord.”
Ezekiel 37:14
meet tummy mommy
Hi! My name is Stephanie! I love coffee, laughing, watching sports and hanging out with my loved ones. I am a single mother to my daughter, Kendall. She is the light of my life! She is super bubbly and has the best smile and giggle!! She participates in cheerleading and does very well!
I spend most of my days caring for my aging grandparents and Kendall. I enjoy watching Kendall swim and compete in her cheer competitions!
When Kendall was a baby, I had no problem taking care of her by myself but as she got older and started school, I needed help. My mother stepped in and has since been helping me raise her. When I found out I was pregnant again, I knew I couldn’t do it on my own and I knew I couldn’t ask my mother to help me raise another child. I contemplated abortion but I knew deep down I couldn’t go through with that. I started looking into adoption and started talking to people and agencies.
I was around 6 months pregnant when I called Jen and Eric to discuss them adopting my baby. We met on Easter Sunday and after that, I knew they were the right family! Jen was with me every step of the way through my last few months of the pregnancy. She was the best thing that could have happened to me! She went to every single Dr. apt with me and she texted or called every day to check on me and still, to this day, we talk very often! I started going to church again. Jen’s conversations and the advice she gave me were an extremely important part in getting me back into church. This time going to church was different. I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I put some hard work in with going to Hope groups (Jen went with me for support) and reading the Bible.
“He predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”
Ephesians 1:5
We try to read the Bible every day and text each other when we’re done. I came to an understanding that with faith in Jesus I could start putting my life back together. Anyone who truly in their heart believes and has faith can get through the most difficult times in life and they can know that God is always by their side in all phases of life both bad and good. There was a time when I was so mad at God for allowing such hard things to happen in my life and now I understand that I went through all of that to meet and know Jesus personally.
I am absolutely positive I did the best thing for Kaylee and myself!
Kendall and I are doing pretty well now! She understands that she has a biological sister and she gets so excited when we get to go see her and the whole Freckman family. She considers their other children her family as well!! I consider myself very lucky with the way everything has turned out!
Please contact me if you or someone you know would like to talk about how adoption could work for them!
You can reach me through Jen’s email at jen@purejoyadoption.com
Blessings!
Stephanie – birth mom aka Tummy Mommy!
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart.”
Jeremiah 1:5
birth & adoptive
mom relations
If you think buying a card for your Mother-In Law is hard, try buying one for your child’s birth mother. Not gonna happen. Why? Because so many people are unsure of how to have a relationship between the birth mom and adoptive mom. Open adoption is becoming more normal but there are still a lot of questions and a feeling of uneasiness around navigating this relationship.
We understand there are MANY dimensions to this relationship and not all situations are set up or even healthy to have such close relations. If you do have some connection and are unsure where to begin to develop a closer relationship with her, we have a few ideas!
We look at this relationship as one that would be served well with love. “We love because God first loved us” like the gospel of John says.
“And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
James 3:18
But what if the birth mom isn’t easy to love & she doesn’t work well with us?
Reread James 3:18 above. I love that verse. Notice, it DOESN’T say, a harvest of “peace” is sown in peace. No, it says a harvest of RIGHTEOUSNESS! That is so freeing, my friend! Why? Because it shows that even when we try to make peace, like we are called to do, it doesn’t matter if the other person also tries to make peace as well…we still get a harvest of righteousness! And righteousness can be defined as “conformity and purity of heart and life to the Divine Law.” I’ll take that over relational human peace any day.
This is the only time in life when you reap what you did not sow. Naturally, whatever you sow is what you reap. If you plant an apple seed, you get an apple tree. But in God’s economy He knows that it takes 2 people to have mutual peace and thus He rewards the person who is seeking peace with a Harvest of Righteousness. What a return on investment!
But what if it isn’t healthy or safe to be so involved with the birth mom?
I would ask, are your motives for staying away coming from fear? We are not to live in a spirit of fear (2 Tim 1:7) because “perfect love casts out fear”. It is hard to love someone AND be fearful of them. And unconditional love could be just the thing to soften her heart and change her life! Is she willing and able to talk with you? If so, use whatever the Lord allows to love her well. That could mean, buy her a cup of coffee and send her a nice note of gratitude to show you care about her as a person. If you love your child, that she birthed, you do that child well to love his/her birth mom well, to the best of your ability.
We sought to honor & love Stephanie, not so we could get her baby, but because “God first loved us”. I’ve never loved someone well and regretted it. If at all possible, I think we are “better together”!