We were going to name our daughter Natalie Joy.  It’s what we would have named our son, Cade, had he been a girl and we’ve always liked the name.  We liked how easily Olivia, Josiah, Cade & Natalie rolled off the tongue.

I began to have a deeper relationship with Stephanie and I really started to respect her and like her as a friend.  She is funny!  She’s super sweet and we have so much in common.  Her quiet strength and deep care for others, especially the life of her then unborn child, kept opening my heart to love her more.  One day she casually asked me if I had a name for the baby.  In my mind, I did but God was doing something in my heart that I didn’t know how to explain. My answer came out something like, “we have some ideas but nothing set in stone yet.  Why? Do you have any thoughts?”  Saying those words somehow gave me more clarity.  I knew right then, I wanted to honor Stephanie somehow with what we named the baby.  But how?  She briefly mentioned something about liking K names.  Her daughter, Kendall, who I had not yet met but would one day fall in love with, was obviously given a K name.  I had never thought once about a K name.

I was deeply asleep, probably dreaming about what an amazing husband I have when I startled awake with a crazy desire to look up K names online.  There I was I scrolling through hundreds of K names online at 2 am when I saw it.

Names mean something.  It’s more than just liking the sound or how easily they roll off the tongue, I have to have some sort of connection with the name.  Olivia Joy was named “joy” because of the verse in Psalms “..and their mouths were filled with laughter and their lips with shouts of joy!”.  Josiah Nole was named Josiah because “Josiah did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.”  Cade Matthew was named Cade because he would “have a spirit of fire for the Lord”.

Stephanie’s middle name is Kay.  My middle name is Lea, but pronounced Lee.  When you put the two together you get Kaylee.  And guess what?!  It’s a K name!  But even better, it means PURE.  Kaylee Joy was named that moment, my husband just didn’t know it yet!   If this baby was going to be ours, her name was going to mean Pure Joy!! I loved how it honored her precious birth mom and the picture of the two of us coming together to love this girl for life.  Stephanie loved her into life and we both will love her through life.  (Looking back now, I can’t imagine Kaylee named anything but Kaylee. It is so perfect for her!)

But why name the site Pure Joy Adoption?  What if this process is anything but pure or joyful?  Good question, I’m glad you asked!  I believe God desires ALL adoptions to be Pure Joy.  Because God LOVES adoption. Ephesians 1:5+6 says “he predestined us for ADOPTION through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the PRAISE of his glorious grace.”  The interesting part is that apart from God adoptions aren’t able to be joyful.  The cold fact that a child’s natural parents are unable to care for them is a grievous, not joyful thing.  But God, in his sovereignty does what he always does.  He redeems and “gives back what the locusts have taken” (Joel 2:25).  He alone can make beauty from ashes.

But how can I be joyful when I don’t know if this baby will be ours or my child is a world away in a foreign country tied up in legal red tape?  Apart from God, you can’t.  HE must be our sense of Joy, our contentment.  Our hearts must be set on HIM.  If we get stuck in all the fears, the unknowns, the emotions of adoption we will never find joy in it.  But when we place our hearts, our hopes, fears, emotions, all of us, in HIM we receive HIS JOY to fill us.  It gives our waiting a purpose.  2 Corinthians 4:17 says “for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that FAR outweighs them all.” Gods word is truth.  Adoption doesn’t always feel “light” or “momentary” but if God says our troubles are light and momentary then…they are.  We can trust him that these troubles are producing an eternal glory that far outweighs them all and THAT brings PURE JOY to our hearts, knowing we can rest in him as we wait.  Or, in the case of the birth mothers…we can rest in Him knowing he is producing an eternal glory that far outweighs this momentary pain and will use this ALL for his glory.